Man the barricades, sharpen your elbows, Black Friday is finally here.
Time to trample over the weak and unfortunate to grab that bargain TV, in a Supermarket Sweep death race where only the strongest survive.
How did we get here exactly?
Blame the Yanks who exported this madness to the rest of the world.
In the US, Black Friday follows Thanksgiving.
And after the last major holiday before Christmas, most people have an extra day off.
Y’know to spend with family and friends.
So, it’s only natural to get up at 4am and head to the mall…
Turn on the TV and there they are.
A line of value seekers as far as the eye can see.
The inevitable fisticuffs don’t seem matter a jot.
And it gets weirder. Trust me.
Ask them why they’re there and they tell you it’s not even about the bargains.
It’s actually more to do with holiday tradition.
Crazy I know.
But, the way they see it is that they’ve always done it. Ever since they were little kids.
It’s a way to pass the time with family and friends, who love the camp out spirit waiting for the stores to open.
But, here’s the thing.
These folks have a game plan.
Not only do they enjoy it, they’ve come prepared.
Organised and focused, they know what they’re looking for.
A plan to navigate this crazed environment and pick up the items they want.
And while we stare aghast at our TV screens.
We’ll be joining them later.
Unable to resist the power of FOMO.
And we walk straight into the retailers’ trap.
Because us latecomers are the ones who’ll overspend wildly and rue ever leaving the house.
See, here’s the thing.
Rushing headlong into the frenzy clouds your judgement.
You go looking for a bargain, but…
The money off signs, the BOGOF deals, the time limited offers, the fact you hate the crowded shops.
Plus the dawning realisation you have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas:
It’s a recipe for bad decision making.
Dunno who I’ll give this to, but it was 60% off…
Store managers know this and catch us at our most vulnerable.
And then they throw in something for free, because people will spend more to save.
Ever topped up your order for the free shipping?
Or to qualify for a gift you’ll never want or use?
Yay, free scarf. Oh wait.
Now I’m not condoning the retailers’ playbook…
But, if you’re looking to squeeze some extra spend from your customers, you know what to do.
Right, I’m off to the Asda 50% off Disney Princess Kitchen royal rumble.
Last one standing wins.
Have fun and stay safe out there.