Orbis Publications has a lot to answer for.
They put out this magazine when I was a kid – The Unexplained – a fortnightly trawl through the usual paranormal hokum:
The Loch Ness Monster, hauntings, telepathy, spontaneous human combustion, Bigfoot, UFOs…
Of course it was a pile of baloney, but still, I was thankful the Men in Black never called at my door.
Every other Saturday the ritual was the same.
I’d rush home from the newsagents with my precious cargo, then spend hours devouring it.
Spooking myself silly in the process.
Although the articles about dowsing and dragons had to wait because I was obsessed by extra-terrestrials.
So much so.
When I was a bit older, I joined a local UFO group.
Dan, the leader, was a ranting Catweazle type, all mad eyes and windmilling arms.
While Chris had the contacts, wrangling an invite to the first screening of that alien autopsy.
“Fake” he pronounced crestfallen.
We even had a monthly newsletter to vent our paranoid ramblings – the Truth Seekers Review.
Quality investigative journalism it was not.
And through the looking glass, conspiracy theories get pretty crazy.
My epiphany came after a heated discussion about Area 51 – an Air Force test range deep in the Nevada desert.
Where apparently, alien craft, and occupants, are held by the US government.
And, get this.
Secret military aircraft are under development using technology reverse engineered from captured saucers.
Maybe even the one from Roswell…
You see, scientists didn’t invent the Stealth Bomber, with brains, hard work and creative thinking.
They plugged in a cloaking device that fell off the back of spaceship, plus a bunch of stuff just lying around Hangar 18.
E.T. even lent a hand.
And everyone got to clock off early.
I mean c’mon.
The reason I bring this up…
This was exactly how I felt this morning:
Yet another dubious pitch in my inbox offering to hook up a hyper drive to my profits with some fancy pants marketing solution.
Bring on the untold riches.
Except, usually it’s steaming pile of BS.
You see, in business there are no shortcuts.
Instead of some shiny gizmo you just plugin for instant results.
Like that space age social media flight deck thing that monetises likes and followers.
It pays to think in more terrestrial terms.
Because usually the answer to what you seek is far more mundane.
Like a bit more elbow grease and better words.
Which really can turn your sales around.
It’s not a hi-tech gravity propulsion system for marketing like all that excitable blurb promises.
And it doesn’t take away the need for hard graft.
But, it certainly gets results.
Beam aboard and let’s talk.